Parody Fairmount Bagel Twitter Account Suspended, Perp Posts Epic Mea Culpa

Tweeting on behalf of a legendary bagel shop is not a victimless crime, apparently.

The Montreal bagel social media profile that went mini-viral thanks to tweets like "Fairmount Bagel is not a bagel it is a #lifestyle" and "Why would Kanye wait for Croissants if he could be getting #Fairmount #Bagels instead" is no more.

@FairmountBagel was suspended last week. The owner of Fairmount Bagels, Rhonda Shlafman, told the CBC "she has nothing to do with the creation of the Twitter account. She says they hope to take it over next year."

With the removal of the bogus account, a new bagel-centric profile has emerged to ask the tough questions.

BREAKING NEWS! @fairmountbagel has been suspended! Is this another nefarious plot by @StViateurBagel? @katemckenna8 @CultMTL @mtlblog

— Joe Bagel (@mtlbagelboy) December 11, 2014

@asta @MTLBAGELWAR @fairmountbagel @katemckenna8 @CultMTL @mtlblog Oh well. It was fun. Back to making bagels I guess . Like everyday 24/7

— StViateurBagel (@StViateurBagel) December 11, 2014

The perpetrator of the Fairmount parody account published a tongue-in-cheek mea culpa today. Here are some notable excerpts:

Pulling off this coup d’état wasn’t going be easy—especially since I wasn’t, you know, actually affiliated with Fairmount. But they lacked a Twitter account, and I had managed a few corporate Twitter feeds for a summer job, so I set out to fill the void. The thing about Twitter is ya gotta be a bit unconventional. Instead of posting a bunch of navel-gazing bagel selfies or seedy bagel recipes, I was going to catch people off guard with content you wouldn’t expect from a 95-year-old institution.

After the account began to catch fire, the sassy tweeter reached out to Fairmount's owners.

Things were getting a little overwhelming, so I decided to reach out to the actual Fairmount guys to see if we could partner. Strangely, their website contact form and email were down, so I messaged them on Facebook instead. Suffice it to say, they were less happy than I anticipated.

This is where it got weird. Fairmount demanded a public apology, in addition to having me forfeit all access to the account.

Cut to CBC's post-Eater 'coverage' of the Twitter phenomenon and the suspension of the account at the behest of Fairmount's owners–this despite the fact that as a parody, @FairmountBagel was ostensibly legit.

At any rate, esteemed Fairmount proprietors: consider this my public apology. I still like your bagels, but I think this hole experience has converted me to a Chez Boris donut man for the forseeable future. I wish you the best of luck in your bagel pursuits, offline and on. I just hope you don’t forget to keep it #fresh