A Montreal Chef's Heartbreaking Lament

Michèle Des Rosiers, the chef/owner of Le Chien Rose in Ahuntsic, often takes to her blog to express her displeasure with the restaurant business, in very honest fashion.

Des Rosiers' most recent post, however, displays uncommon vulnerability. The poignant lament/rant comes in the wake of extensive water damage to her restaurant for the second time in two years.

Here, a partial translation of Des Rosiers' text.

I'm tired. Tired of always having to start over. Tired of searching for people who want to work with me, only to tell me a few months later that they're leaving "just for fun, YOLO!". Tired of managing alone. Tired of having to always look strong, so strong. Tired of pretending that everything you write about me and my business doesn't affect me. Tired of always having to repeat the same things. Tired of having to rebuild my restaurant every year. Tired of always being afraid of not having customers because my restaurant is always closed due to water damage. Tired of ceaselessly thinking about my debts. Tired of being surrounded by incompetent people. Tired of having shitty neighbours who are dirty and unfriendly.

To be frank, I have considered selling my business more than once. I tell myself sometimes that it would be easier to return to the way it was before, without responsibility, without a sword of Damocles over my head. Now I understand why chef is in the top three occupations where most people commit suicide. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm going to pitch myself off a bridge, it's not really a solution, as we all know. I'm just saying that I understand their pain.

I would like to end this post on a positive, but I'm too tired. I think I'll just go to sleep for twenty hours, even though I shouldn't. I should be trying to re-decorate my restaurant for a third time and quickly at that. I'm in debt and every passing day it's getting worse. I go to bed and sleep and hope that I will be better tomorrow or after tomorrow, when I begin interviews for new staff. I literally have 48 hours to get myself together and select a human being who, I hope, will not let me down in six months.

But I'm so tired ....

· Le Chien Rose: Je suis fatiguée [Official Blog]
· Le Chien Rose [Official Page]