12 Montreal Restaurants That Think They're People (on Twitter)

For every clever, self-aware chef or restaurant Twitter handle in Montreal - your @fredmadeit, your @LarryTuesday - there are scores more with no discernible traces of irreverence at all.

That in and of itself is no crime. Many restaurants rely on Twitter to post menus, hours and other critical information. Fine.

The savvy bizarre use of the social media platform - via publicists, often - by other Montreal restaurants, however, comes across as a manifestly louche bid to cajole customers. And it has to stop.

With that, we give you 12 Montreal restaurants that think they're people (on Twitter).

1. The Fashion Maven - Decca 77

Be daring, wear colourful, patterned or stripped socks, to jazzify your look.

— Restaurant Decca77 (@RestoDecca77) March 20, 2014

Done and done! Thanks random restaurant! Wait ... "stripped?"

2. The Nonsensical Questioner - Kyo

What ingredients make you best breakfast?

— Kyo Bar Japonais (@KyoBarJaponais) March 6, 2014

Ingestible foodstuffs make me best breakfast?

3. The Pollster - Bevo

Vous êtes plutôt Pesto, Carbo ou Bolo? :)

— BEVO Bar + Pizzeria (@BevoPizza) March 25, 2014

Ha, we see what you did there. Cute.

4. The Knee-Jerk Keyword Responder - Méchant Boeuf

@icyliquid We didn't feel it! Did you?

— Méchant Boeuf (@mechantboeuf) March 24, 2014

Tweet the words "Old Montreal" and "Old Port" at your peril.

5. The Patriotic Historian - Verses

Aboriginals considered it a health tonic and consumed it to cure chest ailments. Have you ever had maple water? pic.twitter.com/J6W8VI5rXZ

— Verses Restaurant (@VersesCuisine) March 20, 2014

Thank God for Wikipedia.

6. The Hashtag-Happy Enabler - Suite 701

It is almost dink o'clock! What is your favourite #Friday #cocktail ?

— Suite 701 (@Suite701) March 21, 2014

We're cutting you off already.

7. The Coy Oenophile and (bonus) Music Lover - Modavie

Did you know red wine is best served at a temperature of 13 to 19 degrees, depending on its category ;)

— Modavie (@modavie) March 21, 2014

Pour moi, le jazz c'est _______ .

— Modavie (@modavie) March 25, 2014

Thanks for the wine lesson, wink wink.

8. The Creepy Codependent - Wienstein & Gavino's

Its okay if the weekend is over, we can hang out again next weekend.

— Wienstein & Gavino's (@WiensteinGavino) March 24, 2014

Um, raincheck?

9. The Francophile - Newtown

Quels Chefs Français connaissez-vous? :)

— Newtown (@LeNewtown) March 25, 2014

It takes a lot of Gaul to post a tweet like this.

10. The Cinephile - Vieux-Port Steakhouse

Quel est votre poisson préféré?

— VP Steak House (@VPSTEAK) March 25, 2014

@vertelime On peut pas manger Némo! Après tout les efforts qu'il a fait pour retrouver sa liberté, on ne peut pas lui faire ça! :D

— VP Steak House (@VPSTEAK) March 25, 2014

And lover of fictional clownfish.

11. The Philosopher - Atelier Argentine

The sensuality of the tango emphasizes lowlife values and language and challenged bourgeois morality on appropriate female behaviour.

— Atelier Argentine (@AtelierArgentin) March 24, 2014

Move over Jorge Luis Borges.

12. The Racist Comedian - Nacho Libre

"I hate tacos!" said no Juan ever.

— NACHO LIBRE (@vivanacholibre) March 21, 2014

Because homophones and Mexicans = comedy gold. Am I right?

· @RestoDecca77
· @KyoBarJaponais
· @BevoPizza
· @mechantboeuf
· @VersesCuisine
· @Suite701
· @modavie
· @WiensteinGavino
· @LeNewtown
· @VPSTEAK
· @AtelierArgentin
· @vivanacholibre