That in and of itself is no crime. Many restaurants rely on Twitter to post menus, hours and other critical information. Fine.
savvy bizarre use of the social media platform - via publicists, often - by other Montreal restaurants, however, comes across as a manifestly louche bid to cajole customers. And it has to stop.
With that, we give you 12 Montreal restaurants that think they're people (on Twitter).
1. The Fashion Maven - Decca 77
Be daring, wear colourful, patterned or stripped socks, to jazzify your look.— Restaurant Decca77 (@RestoDecca77) March 20, 2014
Done and done! Thanks random restaurant! Wait ... "stripped?"
2. The Nonsensical Questioner - Kyo
What ingredients make you best breakfast?— Kyo Bar Japonais (@KyoBarJaponais) March 6, 2014
Ingestible foodstuffs make me best breakfast?
3. The Pollster - Bevo
Vous êtes plutôt Pesto, Carbo ou Bolo? :)— BEVO Bar + Pizzeria (@BevoPizza) March 25, 2014
Ha, we see what you did there. Cute.
4. The Knee-Jerk Keyword Responder - Méchant Boeuf
@icyliquid We didn't feel it! Did you?— Méchant Boeuf (@mechantboeuf) March 24, 2014
Tweet the words "Old Montreal" and "Old Port" at your peril.
5. The Patriotic Historian - Verses
Aboriginals considered it a health tonic and consumed it to cure chest ailments. Have you ever had maple water? pic.twitter.com/J6W8VI5rXZ— Verses Restaurant (@VersesCuisine) March 20, 2014
Thank God for Wikipedia.
6. The Hashtag-Happy Enabler - Suite 701
We're cutting you off already.
7. The Coy Oenophile and (bonus) Music Lover - Modavie
Did you know red wine is best served at a temperature of 13 to 19 degrees, depending on its category ;)— Modavie (@modavie) March 21, 2014
Pour moi, le jazz c'est _______ .— Modavie (@modavie) March 25, 2014
Thanks for the wine lesson, wink wink.
8. The Creepy Codependent - Wienstein & Gavino's
Its okay if the weekend is over, we can hang out again next weekend.— Wienstein & Gavino's (@WiensteinGavino) March 24, 2014
9. The Francophile - Newtown
Quels Chefs Français connaissez-vous? :)— Newtown (@LeNewtown) March 25, 2014
It takes a lot of Gaul to post a tweet like this.
10. The Cinephile - Vieux-Port Steakhouse
Quel est votre poisson préféré?— VP Steak House (@VPSTEAK) March 25, 2014
@vertelime On peut pas manger Némo! Après tout les efforts qu'il a fait pour retrouver sa liberté, on ne peut pas lui faire ça! :D— VP Steak House (@VPSTEAK) March 25, 2014
And lover of fictional clownfish.
11. The Philosopher - Atelier Argentine
The sensuality of the tango emphasizes lowlife values and language and challenged bourgeois morality on appropriate female behaviour.— Atelier Argentine (@AtelierArgentin) March 24, 2014
Move over Jorge Luis Borges.
12. The Racist Comedian - Nacho Libre
"I hate tacos!" said no Juan ever.— NACHO LIBRE (@vivanacholibre) March 21, 2014
Because homophones and Mexicans = comedy gold. Am I right?