Montreal is not some body sushi prude. In the halcyon bottle service, supper club days of the 1990s, it was commonplace to take toro off a nude torso. No?
If Montreal VIP Inc. wins the day, the "ancient Japanese art of Nyotaimori" - literally "to serve food on the female body" - will be a regular part of the city scene once more. You know, like flair bartenders.
The company's website, montrealbodysushi.com, has been active since 2011 but recently went mini-viral on Facebook after this small post on Coolopolis. And while a Japanese cultural attaché assures us that the practice of Nyotaimori is atypical in Tokyo, even for yakuza syndicates, Montreal VIP Inc. wants naked sushi for us all, sans irony.
And so ...
10 Priceless Facts About Montreal Body Sushi You Need to Know Now
1. This press release statement.
"Some people are always looking for the next big thing no matter how extreme," states Senior Vice President of Marketing Oren Bornstein. "Ten years ago Kobe beef was something rare. Nowadays you can find Kobe beef anywhere! That is not our aim with Nyotaimori. It is not for the masses, nor should it be. It is for those who want that once-in-a-lifetime experience. In fact, we limit the experience to 12 or fewer people," explains Bornstein.
2. Montreal VIP Inc. thinks we all deserve "the opportunity to feel like a VIP." This is from the company's "About Us" page.
For over a decade, Montreal VIP has officially functioned as the city's premier VIP service by catering to clients who enjoy the finer things in life. Our services have been called upon by numerous high-profile clients including celebrities, professional athletes, politicians, and CEO's.
3. The fugly need not apply.
We select the finest models available ( from Montreal's top modeling agency) and train them in the art of Nytoamiori.
4. Body sushi: the "ultimate indulgence" and the perfect way to "celebrate your divorce."
Nothing says "I'm back on the market" like eating factory-farmed salmon off a naked woman.
5. The "finest sushi Montreal has to offer" includes "a spring roll generously filled with tuna, mango and strawberry", "grilled calamaris" and "guacomle."
All very traditional of course. Jiro Ono would approve.
6. Your body sushi "package" includes service in a "5 star restaurant."
And which "5 star restaurant" would that be ... exactly?
7. Enjoy "Coffee, Tea and Desert as a 3rd Course."
8. Available option #1: "Multiple models."
For banquets, of course.
9. Available option #2: "Outing to a night club afterwards with a private table and bottle service."
Because a $300 bottle of SKYY with cranberry and orange is how we ball in the 514.
10. OMG THIS: "(Body sushi) is truly a once in a life time event that will make you and your group as legendary as the practice itself."
We could be heroes. Just for one day.
La Queue de Cheval threw a "Food Porn" party in 2011 with body sushi. Watch if you dare.